First five minutes
- Move away from anything you could use to hurt yourself, even if only to another room.
- Tell one person: I am having urges to hurt myself and I need you to stay with me or check in.
- Use a delay: wait ten minutes before doing anything. Repeat the delay if the wave drops even slightly.
What it can feel like
- Feeling overwhelmed, numb, ashamed, angry or desperate for release.
- Feeling pulled towards an old coping habit even if part of you does not want to do it.
- Thinking you need to prove your pain or punish yourself.
Why it can happen
- Self-harm can be a way of coping with emotional distress, painful memories, numbness, self-punishment or intrusive thoughts.
- Urges can return during stress, conflict, grief, shame, trauma reminders or feeling alone.
What can help
- Create distance from tools, places or situations connected to self-harm before trying to analyse the feeling.
- Use cold water, paced breathing, scribbling, ripping paper, holding ice wrapped in cloth, or leaving the room to ride out the urge safely.
- Get medical help for injuries, and seek professional support if urges keep coming back.
Free support options
- If you might seriously hurt yourself or cannot stay safe, contact emergency services now.
- Use trusted self-harm guidance from NHS, Mind or YoungMinds while you arrange support.
Important note
This guide is for education and signposting. It cannot diagnose you or replace care from a qualified professional. If you feel at risk, seek urgent local help.
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